Being Vulnerable, UNLEARNING AGREEMENTS with April Kaiser - Bytes of Light

This week we bring on another one of our authors in our book, April Kaiser! April, like Dustin from last week's episode, co-runs Buckaroo Buddha Holistic Healing LLC and is here to share some insights from her life and the experience she's been through that brought her to where she is today! This podcast contains some sensitive discussion topics, please be aware before listening.

As a lifelong rancher and professional horse trainer living day-to-day with chronic repercussions from serious injuries, April reach out to alternative medicine in search of living a pain-free and natural lifestyle. Feeling the call to help others experience the same opportunities, Buckaroo Buddha Holistic Healing LLC was established in 2019 by April and Dustin Kaiser. 

Building a bridge for the ranching community and those alike providing physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Peach, Health, and Cowboy Sh*t.

• Bowen Therapy Specialist
• Reiki Energy Healing and Ceremony
• Shamanic Practitioner
• Buckaroo Buddha Breathwork Facilitator
• Member of Brave Badass Healers Community – working closely with religious trauma and your spiritual awakening, narcissism abuse support, cord cutting, and removing attachments. She shares her authentic journey, cowboy logic and straightforwardness, creating a path aligned with your soul’s journey and highest good.

Connect with April Kaiser:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://buckaroobuddha.com/

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/buckaroo-buddha-4137a2232/

Facebook: https://facebook.com/buckaroobuddha1111/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/buckaroobuddha1111/

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[Episode Transcription]

welcome to Bytes of Light with Angel and Seth Rohrer. we provide bite-sized nuggets of wisdom to feed your soul expand your awareness and free your mind to help you create a more beautiful today and a brighter tomorrow join us in our magical kitchen as we serve up another high Vibe snack for your soul

to bites of light snacks for your soul and today we have one of our featured authors in our new book bytes of light evolving leadership for the spiritual entrepreneur April Kaiser from Buckaroo Buddha thanks for joining us April thank you for having me this is oh you know like a dream really it's awesome excellent excellent well yeah it's like Angel mentioned you're writing in our books it's coming up I you know we kind of meant indirectly through your husband we talked with him on a previous episode where how we met and it was amazing to to meet you through him like to just connect to the both of you was definitely one of the my belief one of the main reasons that I was there that I found that that breath work facilitator program was to yes learn that medicine but also to be connected with you and Destiny so very honored to to have that connection and have you guys come into play with us and writing this book yeah and that's what I love about these collaborations is we to to find people on this unique ray of light that we can vibrate at and then come and play together and collaborate I'm loving learning about your medicine and about your history and your story and your chapter is just so incredible why don't you give our listeners a little taste about what you wrote and why you chose that story hmm well I think oh choosing that story for some reason I just centered in on that last that last thing that you said but choosing that story specifically you know we are trying to relate to the reader and I think that by tapping into your own story that coming to a vulnerable spot in that story as well gives that Center plane for people to kind of relate for themselves and so if you can hit that spot then of course you can hit so many more and so I don't know I think sharing my story for me the being vulnerable was a big part of it because like I say that way it just allows other people to be able to do that also when they're in your presence or when they're reading or hopefully in the podcast and just be able to relate to everyone as human beings that we all kind of go through a lot of the same stuff and some is more drastic and some is not and it's all in different subjects but we're all here fighting battles and riding through fires is what my the chapter title for me was and writing through fires you know I'm I'm in my 40s and so of course at that time you kind of look back and you almost do see it in like 10 or 15 year phases 8 to 15 12 15 year phases whether that's in numbers or not but it seems to come in those waves for whatever you know how the how our lifespan our lifetime here and so by now sorry I lost my train of thought for a second by now that's where it's like riding through fires you know or I I titled it the fire not just fire because it's multiple fires or just a fire or the fire well what is the fire I added that in there because the fire is Hell in a lot of people's mind and so you know we all ride or walk or crawl or do whatever it takes to get through these fires or phases through our life and to somehow come out on the other end and still want to ride is where I was tapping in for my readers and myself so the subject the subject that you chose why don't you walk us through a little bit about what are what are some of the main components of your chapter as far as the subject as the fires maybe or the subtitle kind of a cocoon in search of Heaven on Earth like a cocoon's journey in search of Heaven on Earth right and so the different phases kind of go hand in hand with that because that's a lifetime experience you know for humans I would love to meet the human that landed here and thought I'm in heaven immediately and kept that attitude for a long time most of us don't get that opportunity or lost it because of you know the training that you and I experience together as far as domestication you know we sure we land here thinking that and then over domestication in time we don't think so and believe we're not good enough and then we have to go the other direction and try so hard to reverse all of those beliefs so that we can find Heaven Again and so using those different phases in your life mind just being able to relate with that and see where you can tap into finding heaven on Earth in your lifetime now and not having it some make-believe or not make believe I mean in our hearts belief that this is a different lifetime or another lifetime and that we're all here you know when I was a young child it just was my surroundings to kind of feel this way but I literally thought I was in purgatory for a long time because we were fighting so hard to get to the better next Lifetime and I was even a baby I was like well what about right now we're all missing out right now and I think that that train of thought has been instilled in so many humans and so you know trying to find those pieces of heaven and finding heaven on Earth and then tapping in that you can create that yourself enrolling with it and hopefully by the time you're on your deathbed you're able to say damn Mike I enjoy most of this I created this beautiful life instead of whatever thoughts would be coming and we have the ultimate thought here and now so yeah and you and Seth had some similar upbringings where you know religion had put some agreements that you had to unlearn on yourself growing up yeah and you know we've done a podcast previously with Seth and his brother around how they both navigated that space and that was also a space you had to navigate as well absolutely yeah yeah and it's hard doing it growing up too you know you're already combating all of these things go look at a book about growing up and it it's its own little piece of hell and then you had all of this without these all these outside things and you know it's a lot on top of each other yeah it is interesting to me that the organizations that claim to be your your Doorway to heaven are the ones that are putting in barricades right like you need us to get to heaven you need to come to us to get to heaven but but you can't have it in this lifetime you need to come here and and do all the things that we tell you to do so that you can maybe if you're lucky have it when you die and I was like well and that like you said then you end up it's like you it puts you in this cycle of of chasing your tail in hopes that one day you might be good enough like this is where and also are the good enough issues start dropping in right that you might be good enough to have this thing that's unattainable on earth right it's over here you can't have it when you know what you and I have learned coming through those processes through those organizations is it's here this is this whole experiment or you know whatever the the deepest purpose is of why we're here it's ultimately to learn how to be in that place of of Heaven Within and that creates that that heaven without that peace and tranquility and calm and unconditional love space you know however you Define heaven for yourself but that's that's ultimately the practice and it's gotten so lost by the desire to subjugate others and keep them in the you know that's why the gatekeeping comes in well you can't you can't have your own thoughts or you might figure out if you actually get quiet with with your own thoughts you might actually learn how to quiet the thoughts that they've planted in your head and then you might actually start hearing the truth which is you're already connected to God source and universe and it will come through you it is you if you get quiet if voices you can shut the voices down so when I talked with my brother for him it took him till he was in his 40s me I was in my teenage years and I already started bucking it um what how long I mean I guess if you don't mind me asking like where where were you at in your life when you kind of were like I either know this isn't right for me or finally got to the point because for him he was like fighting tooth and nail he's he's gay and he 10 years begged them to make it go away

you know and me in my teenage years was like this feels like crap I kind of want out so I did so I'm curious what your experience with separation from that you know that environment was like for sure yeah it's interesting because just you know and being vulnerable here so it's a beautiful thing yeah but putting all of it together and I'm in my late 40s so it took me that long to stop crying about it really um you know it's amazing how powerful of a hold it has on you and like you say it's because it doesn't quiet you know if you're for as a kid I mean we were and I'm not trying to bash and be like oh we got to do all this stuff because yeah guess what we did have to do all this stuff I worked on a ranch too right so I'm not gonna go there but I am going to go and say here that you know the amount of meanings and sermons and study and preparation and then talk and within my home because everyone was a high Authority so that was what they lived so that's what they talked about and so when you're living that vibration all the time and it's just it does and their spirituality I mean that's our like gut right they're messing with the most important thing that we are they're messing with our soul and twisting it up and so that is upsetting for me because you talked about a timeline and so you have that chatter chatter chatter like you're kind of talking about over time and that's what keeps you hooked that keeps you guilty and hooked and you get moments it's like a bad marriage you know you get moments of bliss and you're like oh I do have a great family this is beautiful and then all of a sudden you're just like oh my God how could they do this and then they call this abuse in other place houses right you're just yeah but for me and personally I came into this lifetime of very aware of my surroundings in this story it killed me it brought me to my first death essentially and I sit here with zero connection to any family whatsoever from my lifetime Dustin and I have you know been married eight years and so I have a beautiful family with him and our children but as far as any connection you want to talk about cord cutting yeah there's a little timeline right but to observe what was happening I was able to accept my life because I was on a working Ranch and I had a family that provided for me very well physically and mentally as far as you know I'm being humble here as far as what I felt like other kids were going through for sure they took good care of me they were a very good family but then there was this deep dark hole that we were constantly spinning in that ripped me up and so I would say you know as early as my memory could hold as early as five years old or so I would tap into the idea yeah that this is a dream this has to be a dream there's no way everybody in the whole world is doing this because you learn there's so many people in the world it's whatever age that is I heard that there were seven million people in the world at that time right that wow what a big number and you start thinking wait a minute there's no way in this you're like oh remember to play are these people literally playing this out to like ruin my life here and I kind of watched this play out so by the time I was 17 years old I had dug really deep into all religions I had been already conditioned and trained at a very young age to argue with all religions but I decided to make my own approach and come in on their Turf and see where they were coming from not from my own organization's books I wanted to make sure in my soul that when I walked out of that place I was doing the right thing 100 and that's why it holds you you know education I did that research and did what I needed which was pretty sneaky at the time you know most teenagers are sneaking off to parties and getting drunk and I'm sneaking off and having meetings with Catholic priests at 10 pm with other families because I don't want anyone else to know I did that right odd lifestyle with that but by the time I was 23 I was fully excommunicated or from the church just Fellowship from the church and made my way into my own life adult life with that but that also goes to show how bright you shine and how connected you were during that time in your life and part of your story that I just love so much is your connection to horses because there was a time in my life where you know I experienced a spiritual death and it was Equine Therapy that brought me back to this planet and so I feel a deep kinship with you with your experience with horses and how they were part of your spiritual awakening too that connection to Mama Gaia through animal medicine can you talk a little bit about your relationship with the horses and your experience with that oh of it yes of course it's nothing like being able to handle this big beast you know and you have to come into partnership with it you don't it's not it's the the way we were raised and the way we've always trained horses through it's always been a gentle touch and so we're ranchers and so it may not be as gentle as other people approach but at the same time our horses are very healthy and work hard for us and then you reward them for their for their work and so coming at that gentler touch you know being able to just provide for them and have that responsibility and have that connection so it's not just just when your heart beats match up but also the the entire lifestyle that comes with it and the integrity and the humility that you learn and balance through that Dustin and I spoke at the Elko Cowboy Poetry show this last year on behalf of the working Cowboys and mental illness suicide and you know kind of the subject were on anything that hurts the soul and we were able to connect with them on this and you know be able to bring it out that we Cowboys and horse trainers and we live with egos every day because if you don't walk out the door with one you'll get killed so you have to be bigger than the horse you have to be bigger than the Bulls or whatever you're working with or you're going to get hurt but at the same time tearing that over right from work into the bar or over into the darker parts of life is the unhealthy part so being able to reach in and balance the ego the healthy part of our egos with the humility that we all carry and and it was a really unique moment to be able to to spark that in them and see that it really comes within because they know when you're riding horses and working with them there's this fine moment and you want to talk about coming to the present moment you can read all about it and meditate about it all you want but a horse is going to bring you to that very moment where you decide in the universe and you in this horse decide if you're gonna fall forward and off the horse or if you're gonna go back and everything is going to be awesome because you stayed in the saddle right or this moment where the horse might run you over because something spooked behind you almost kill you but at the same time some kind of the energy and being able to have say his Vortex around you and to have these connections with them throughout it's very healing you know I'm sure there's a lot more subtle soft ways to do it with Equine Therapy and that's kind of where I'm headed my breath work is bringing that to me and you know I'm laying in the meadow with the horse a little more than riding it and roping and stuff like that like I did in real life so but moving forward I do have a physical hold back and so it doesn't allow me to ride like we did before but moving forward I look forward you know into the Equine Therapy like you're talking about because it brings a person to that moment and it's kind of like we were talking about earlier or in a previous conversation you know with with animals we give them so much more permission than we give ourselves or other people it's amazing all animals practically and so spending time with it and seeing yourself give it compassion and team up and and the kind of Miracles that come with working with horses it gives you that space to heal for sure it can be very magical well there is from what what from my experience with working with it like a horse woman was my first Elder like my my first teacher in in the shamanic community and I didn't even realize or see her as a shaman until I had done all this work and so when I look back on my past I was like wow was I ever grateful to have landed on in her pastor and and working with her animals and that horses are incredible beings to work with with energy they will mirror you perfectly and tell you exactly where you're at in your journey absolutely you know animals in general so I and you share experiences about the horses in your chapter and also your experience with Jaguar medicine you know and it's just so awesome to have another author in this collaboration with us that embodies many animals as as Spirit guides and you know shapeshifter here Master shapeshifter oh well thanks I didn't really put it together like that until kind of through the book I was like wow that's cool and I talked about those phases you know I think those that's what it is they're not put in years but they're put in phases right and to find out that you know growing up you hear you have a spirit animal and to find out that you have multiple over time it was exciting and so right now yeah right now sitting with Jaguar I mean and you too is like you get a little excited where what else would I be right so obvious yeah it's it's quite a journey though it's you know not as exciting as people think because what I'm sitting in right now with that is you know everybody loves Jaguars from far away yeah he started bodying that medicine and it's terrifying in the beginning nobody really wants to pet them they really they wish they had the guts too yeah but they usually can't bring themselves to it so I'm moving into that next phase of embodying this medicine yes yeah well and you're well on your way you know it's you you did kind of skim over oh I can't ride horses anymore but you went through a horrific accident yeah you know the warrior courage that it took for you to bounce from that is incredible you know if you want to share a little bit about what happened and and and how you recovered yeah leading up into it I essentially broke my neck on a horse in my early 20s and you know when it really comes down to it here we go again with the vulnerable part this is where the physical and the men the emotional and the spiritual part of what healers talked about in my story this is where it starts right so you look a few sicknesses as a child because you know a lot of strep throat because my okay these obvious things as healers we see is red flags but when I broke my neck I literally went straight to work I didn't go to the hospital there was nothing bleeding and I went to work and was consumed by mentally and emotionally and spiritually by the leaving the church absolutely consumed by it and that is a big part of one of those fires that's one of the fires you have to ride through but that one kind of burned through a few a few Generations yeah but let's see I we I lost my train of thought for a second with how you recovered right going into that what ended up happening is letting all of what consumed my entire body overrule my better judgment on basically everything led me to a point where I built everything up so drastic and when I mean work I mean work we were at the time we were Foreman of a very large Ranch working full-time roping full-time all-upper work and then all this is still going on my my heart chakra's closed my throat chakra was closed by my crown chakra's closed because I just ran away from the church and it's been only a few years and I hadn't popped it open all the way you know kind of middle of this journey and essentially you know when you do something like that it's gonna still just takes you down you don't listen to God it takes you down and so my heart stopped and ended up doing emergency surgery where they can remove both top ribs and save that problem just like that and so that kind of started that dragonfly Journey when you go when you're a cowboy and you go to the emergency room you know that Bone's connected to that bone and that Bone's connected to that bone and then over here that bones connected to this bone and it's all lit up and so we start with the emergency and work our way down to four major surgeries in less than six years and I had my jaw reconstructed up into my eye sockets so during this period of time I went through multiple modalities and oh everybody's Spiritual Awakening is hard but you know we have our first death I feel like I went through a few there in in a minute that are and came out before my surgeries I pulled that Warrior out I cried pretty hard when they ripped the rug out from underneath me with my net with this whole story because I didn't know anything else but to train horses that was my career my resume it was my identity it was everything I put everything into and I couldn't that was that so changing that and putting my hands in in literally knowing say okay here we go let's let's everybody says it's gonna work let's really try it you son of a gun and throwing everything to your creator and and finding just that River amongst the [ __ ] and the baggage if you can find that River where you belong you'll come out on the other side and it will just be completely open right but to get in there it just takes so much Warrior so coming out of that I was able to heal and get my feet underneath me but there was this important moment I want to bring up that made me laugh because when you talk about our exchanging energies with horses and you know we like I say there's the training energy and the and the just the Friendship energy and all of these things that we bring in an art and and things with them too all of this beauty and in the middle of this story and all these surgeries and horses still they're out on the highway at the moment because I'm sick in bed and my husband at the time is down because of the same issues I looked around our house and we had spent you know some of our saddle money in some very nice artwork and I sat there and stood there in the kitchen and looked around the entire house and every piece of artwork was a horse wrapped

Rodeo rats Cowboy racks beautiful artwork I mean it was just gorgeous artwork but every single one of them had been the collection and that was my moment in horse energy was like ew This is the hell out of here I'm over I'm over there learning how to manifest I got this big old vision board going on and all this real stuff but where I'm actually living is in the wreck I'm consumed by thousands of dollars of Rex you know in cowboy terms that's there's no wrong tracks and so yeah down they came and said to change change that going on because the surroundings you know exchanging that energy so it can be good and then it can be yeah it can be bronchy that's an important awareness yeah to have that our environment absolutely affects us and and reflects reflects us you know it'll tell us you know if you have any question as to where you're at in a lot of ways of life look around take a look around your your environment where you're at with abundance take a look at your bank account you know where you're at with your own Joy take a look at the activities you're participating in where you're at with your own how cluttered is your house yeah your relationships well take a look at you don't have to go far for that one how do you treat yourself how do you you know so these all these things in life will will reflect us and they affect us yeah so we can start by making little changes outside of us while we're making the changes inside of us it's like you're talking about and it's been amazing and so inspiring to watch and witness and hold for you and Dustin to walk through this space to share your words yes and because again that Warrior Spirit shows up and you know I I loved your chapter so much and I'm just so excited that you said yes to join us in this collaboration to spread this medicine into this world and I'm excited for what we dream up together next yes right yes this is just the beginning more and more yes yes we're very excited we have really appreciated finding the community that we were kind of after and to you know you're talking about your surroundings and manifesting it was like we had this shift recently where we could decide if we stayed where we're at or not and easily make that decision and being a part of the group your group and being able to move forward in a worldwide right collaboration of why we feel we're here on Earth you know you can't do that from the middle of the desert all the time you can just like go and go and go and go but sometimes it's just too big and too powerful and so we're really happy I don't think I've ever appreciated technology like I have in my life until now and I realized it's because it's for our higher purpose right you know it's always great when it's for your higher purpose food tastes better when you're detoxing you know all of that type stuff and so we just really appreciate being able to serve and and hear and for you and for us and it just feels like a beautiful tribe look forward to it yeah well we're very we very much appreciate your time and coming on our podcast today and sharing your love and your light and your stories that are just incredible you know you truly have walked to hero's journey and we're just very grateful that you're sharing your love and your light within our book and within our community and we're just so blessed so thank you thank you for joining us April for being here thank you very much yes all our love and listeners we'll see you on the next episode

thank you for sharing your time and energy with us the best way to help us spread this message is to rate review And subscribe is this episode impacted you in any way share it with others post about it on social media put something in the comments also check out our website for upcoming events and books at www.rohrerrevolution.com

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